You wake up in the morning, there is a nice breeze outside, you're comfy, the kids are still quiet(quite possibly even sleeping still), no one has called to nag you about something, life just seems wonderful. Right? Wrong! This is because suddenly you have a screaming two year-old telling you to let him out. Are you going to let him out? You have to think about it because if you move from this spot, all this wonderful beauty of life might just disappear. You will realize there are toys and crumbs on your bedroom floor and laundry baskets full of laundry that need putting away. You will have to stand up and feel that growing baby in your womb squish your bladder until you can barely hold it. You will have you walk into that hallway...the hallway with the...DIAPER PAIL! You will probably nearly kill yourself on a toy that you swear to yourself was not there moments ago. Then you will open that door, that door where the two year old is screaming and where the 3 year old is telling you he needs to go "pee." When you open that door you will see why you were hearing a bump or 20 in the night as you were trying to sleep without an anxiety attack from hearing those strange noises(because deep down you knew what was really going on, no monster, a child!). You will open the door and see what he spent his bedtime doing...expanding the chaos that has already ensued in your home. You continue to lay there thinking, despite the beeping of the contruction vehicles outside, this moment is beautiful. You are untouchable, absolutely untouchable. No child is near you or can get near you, even your 1 year old, who thinks your bosoms are stairs that she can climb to a better place, is in her cage(crib) still. She is the quiet one. Perhaps the good child for now. She is patiently waiting for you to open her door. Yes, she is sweet and cute, but you are comfortable. Can you end this? Get your lazy pregnant self out of that bed and start your day? This day might not go well, especially since there is more chaos downstairs created by your loved ones. There is a chance it could go well, no, it won't. But the good thing is that you can look back to the moment you woke up and heard birds and a breeze(continue to ignore the planes, traffic, and construction you also heard) and think of how wonderful that was to wake up to. It could happen again, perhaps, perhaps not, but you can still think back on that time with fondness and remember all is not lost. You really do love this life. The one with the mess and the many children that seem to magically multiply everytime you blink. You love your children and your husband. You even love that they are so ridiculously close together in age that you have a 6-8 month time in between children when you are not pregmant. So you hardly even remember what being married and not pregnant is like. Life is still good. Just remember your morning of today. Everytime you feel stressed or anxious, go to that place in your mind, dwell upon that, feel it, you can always go there in your mind. Oh, and don't forget...the two year-old, yeah, he pooped, and so did the one year-old. So get out of bed, march to that door, after you've caught yourself from tripping over that toy, open that door saying to yourself, "I love you all. I love you all." And grab a couple diapers and wipes and begin your day!!
I am a Colorado girl who met and married a Utah man in July 2003. We live in Utah with our 7 beautiful children: Duncan(12), Liam(11), Gwendolyn(9), Rosaline(8), Alastair(6), and Briony (3), Felicity(3 m). I am sure there are more babies coming for us in the future. I guess you'll just have to read along and find out!