Feb 27, 2009

Apparently I have an enemy?...

I was just having one of those days, the other day, and decided to have a little vent session. I am normally cheerful and optimistic, but things just felt overwhelming. I typed up the blog, read it once and posted it. Then within a minute I received my first comment. I read it and was really shocked so I immediately deleted it, thinking it was someone just playing a mean joke. Then very very soon after that I received a second comment. I called my best friend to see if she had any idea who it was. She told me to leave the comments on there. She said my friends would defend me.
That's what I did. Surprisingly, after the day I had I wasn't at all upset or really offended by was "Meg" was saying. I feel that she obviously doesn't know me very well if she thinks those things of me. I do think, however, that she is someone I know. I did some investigating, so to speak. She referred to Mark as Mark, rather than my husband, as someone who doesn't know me would refer to him as. She was a little too passionate to be a stranger. She is obviously single(bitter), and childless. Oh yeah, she also doesn't proofread or she can't spell. I was able to interpret her comments just fine though. Her name may or may not be "Meg". I will have to look into that further. This whole enemy thing is really quite fascinating. I feel like Spiderman!!

Even when this chick kept going on and on about me, I didn't feel upset. I was actually laughing at the things she was coming up with. My husband didn't feel the same. He is ready to fight for me right now, haha.
It was so nice to see how many of my friends understood me and my frustrations. It was also nice to see them defend me against her. I am glad to know that those who know me know that I am not normally like that all the time. Thank you to: Val(my bff), Melissa H., Chrystal, Melissa O., Josalyn, Anonymous, The Real Meg, Leah, and Crishelle. And thank you Meg for your words, kind or otherwise. I was getting a little bummed about not getting as many comments as I used to, but "Meg", you took care of that for me. I got a record number of comments on that blog post. It gave me such warm fuzzies!!!

Feb 24, 2009

That's Right People, A Rant...

I am not totally feeling sorry for myself and wanting people to start pitying me. I don't want people to feel sorry for me or to think that I need you to all to pitch in because I went and had 4 kids 4 and under. But I must say, I am burned out!!! I have a lot to be grateful for in my life, but I feel like I have so much to do and so little time. My husband gets a day off every 14 days, which happens to be Sunday(a very busy day).
I feel so tense and stressed inside, but can't seem to let it out ever. I feel like I am a time bomb ready to go off at any moment sometimes. I can't seem to stay on top of my house, no matter how long, hard or often I work on it. I am trying to get Liam to potty train, trying to keep Gwenie from ODing, trying to take care of little Rozz Pozz, and let Duncan know that he still exists to me. I tried to talk to my Dr. about my how stressed out I feel at times to see if she could offer anything, advice or a muscle relaxant, Xanax, a bowl of ice cream, ear plugs, a maid, something. But, she kind of blew me off. I understand she is busy, but come on!
So this morning my house is a mess, only 3 out of 4 kids are dressed, I am in my pjs(and braless). I go to take off my clothes to get into the shower and I see my bishop walking up to my front door! I grab my bra and throw it on and try to make myself remotely presentable.
I open the door and he wants to chat for a bit. Of course Liam(the undressed one) is the child to come downstairs. I thought he just wanted to tell me something at the front door, so I was like, "go ahead." Then he starts to step into my house. Not the clean house I had the other day, but the messy one I had right then. I felt so humiliated, so embarassed. I know that a lot of people in my ward look at me as one of those less actives. I am shy and easily intimidated. I have never been inactive or less active. I have always had a testimony. I am never given callings. I just became a visiting teacher for the first time in three years just last month. Anyway...so, he is asking me how I am doing, like he cares, then just tried to move on once I told him how things were going. Argh! Don't get me wrong, I think he is a good man and all but...
Why do people ask "how are things going?" when they don't even really want to know?! I get so tired of that. I have more going on in my life than I would like to post on a blog. I don't like to put my problems on people. I don't like to burden others with things. Many people say that they are there for you, but when it comes down to it they are really just saying it and that's all. They don't really want you to take them up on their offer of watching your kids for a day or talking to you on the phone. They ask you how you are doing but don't stick around long enough to hear your answer. I get tired of that. Don't be liars people, say what you mean, not what you think someone wants to hear!
I must say that I am incredibly grateful to those of you who have always been there. Who listen to me and don't judge me or my situation. For those of you who don't act like I am an idiot for having 4 kids so close together. I love having children, I even love that they are close together(they are cute little buddies). I am grateful for my children and I wouldn't change a thing about when I had them or anything like that. I just...need a vacay!!!!! (exhale)
Thanks for reading. I feel a little bit better. I just need to let out a good scream! Aaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!

Feb 19, 2009

Here She Goes Again!!...

Well, I turned on the water for Gwenie(she can only reach her fingers to it standing on a stool) to entertain her while I got us all ready to go to the doctor. The sinks drains slowly, but I wasn't too worried about her doing anything with the water since she only sticks her fingers in it. Well, I go down to make a bottle for Rozzy and Duncan runs downstairs yelling, "Mommy, the phone was in the water!" Did I mention this was a brand new phone we bought with our tax return? Yeah, well it was. Luckily Duncan took the phone out of the water and brought it to me. I shook it out and am currently waiting for it to dry. Cross your fingers it still works, I threw our old phones away because they hardly worked anymore. Ahh, the terrible twos. What will happen next?

Feb 15, 2009

Terrible Twos Fiasco Update...

There have been some recent developments with the aspirin story. We were eating dinner last night and were talking about Gwenie eating the aspirin. We were telling Liam that he did a very good thing by telling us right away when he knew what she was doing. Then Liam says, "Yeah, and I gave them to her." I said, "What?! You gave them to her?!" He said, "Yeah, she wanted your medicines so I climbed up your dresser and got them for her." Apparently Liam is still in the midst of his terrible twos. Luckily today has been quite calm and ordinary. But there is still Monday to worry about...

Feb 14, 2009

Terrible Twos early!! Aaaah!

Gwendolyn does not turn two for another month and a half, yet she feels that I need to understand what being a 2 year-old entails. I have Liam for a child, so I know it is rough. The last 36 hours have been some intense training for me, however. First, she comes downstairs with some lovely "Mommy and Daddy baby preventers." I thought, "Okay, this isn't too bad. A little embarassing, but not too bad." I told her, "Thank you, sweetheart. No, it's not candy." We were finished with it.

I go upstairs to get dressed, brush my teeth and such. Meanwhile, Duncan had pushed the chair to the counter looking for some super glue to give me to fix a toy of his. Not a big deal, he is very responsible when it comes to that sort of thing. Gwendolyn comes upstairs to get dressed with me. I put in my contacts, so she pretends to put in contacts. Yeah, by spraying my lens cleaner in her eye. Ugh! Then as I am cleaning that off I realize that Duncan had found the super glue, but neglected to tell me or put it in a place where she wouldn't be able to reach it. She opened it and had tried to use it as lip gloss. Yeah, I know, nice right? I was done with this terrible two nonsense for the day. So was she, but only for the day. Yes, tomorrow was only a day away at that point...

Today began as many other days do. The kids and I all went downstairs. They played while I watched a little Dr. Phil. After a while Liam and Gwenie decided to go upstairs to play. I was fine with that, they do it all the time. Then Liam comes running downstairs yelling, "Mommy! Gwenie is eating your medicine all gone!"
I quickly ran upstairs to find that she had used the drawers on my dresser as a ladder to climb up and take my daily pill holder off the dresser. I take a baby aspirin daily for my Factor V Leiden. She ate all 10 of the baby aspirin I had in the holder. I was freaking out and crying and there was no number for the poison control on the bottle. All they had was a note saying "in case of an overdose call poison control." Totally helpful. I called Mark and he got me the number.
I called them and they told me that I should feed her plenty of food and monitor her closely and that if she should vomit to call them right away or take her to the hospital.

She seems to be fine thus far. I am very grateful for that. I just don't really want to see what tomorrow brings...