Feb 8, 2012

A New Post

*update at the bottom
I wasn't sure what to title this post.  I haven't posted in quite a while.  I have wanted to, but I don't always have the time or patience.  A lot of time has passed and I am sure a lot of things have happened.  I may update the blog for myself, but have the dates be the dates the events actually took place.  I will let you all know if I do that, if you're really interested.
In December Mark and I got a bit of a surprise, I found out that I was pregnant.  We weren't exactly expecting it, but we were so excited.  I felt no worry, even though this meant we would no longer be able to fit our whole family into our van anymore.  I felt so at peace.  I could suddenly eat eggs again as well and dairy products without any pain or sickness as I had been dealing with for the past year.  I decided to tell some close friends and a few family members right away.  I had never miscarried in the past, but I always waited before.  I just decided that this one would be no different.  I was very wrong.  We all came down with the stomach flu.  It was brutal.  Mark had to work that weekend and so I was by myself.  I started bleeding.  I had always bled with my pregnancies, but never so much.  I knew what was happening.  I was having a miscarriage.  I was distraught.  I couldn't believe this was happening, but I knew it to be true.  I always thought I knew how I would feel or how upset I would be if I ever miscarried.  I was wrong.  There was such a huge feeling of loss, even though I had never met this child.  I couldn't cry hard enough.
As I began to get over the stomach flu and Alastair tore his frenulum(webbing between your lip and your gums, more on that another day) I decided to get my blood tested to make sure I was really miscarrying.  As much as I didn't want it to believe it was happening I knew it was and it was confirmed.  I was eventually given the go ahead to start trying again if I wanted.
January came and I hadn't had a period yet.  It had been about 5 1/2 weeks since my miscarriage.  I had a feeling I might be pregnant again, so I took a test.  The test was positive.  I didn't want to get my hopes up, but I was excited anyway.  I didn't really tell anyone this time except for a friend or two.  Another week passed and I was cleaning my bathroom, the deep down super cleaning(shower included).  When I was done I went to take a shower.  I was bleeding again.  I knew I was miscarrying again.  I spent the entirety of my shower sobbing quietly to myself.  I was devastated.  I didn't understand why I felt so strongly that we were supposed to have more children when this was happening again.  I was so worried that this was the end of having children.  I poured my heart out to the Lord and He brought me so much comfort.  I knew that this particular spirit would come, but not at this time.  I needed this trial.  I needed it to help me become the person I need to be to return to Him.
I went back to the Dr. and she decided to test my blood for low progesterone levels(the hormone needed to maintain a pregnancy), my thyroid(I've had some recent rapid weight gain and fatigue) and other things that I wanted her to check out.  She went to consult with my regular Dr. and then came back.  She mentioned that having Factor V Leiden(a clotting disorder) is a cause for miscarriage.  I told her I had that.  Then she asked me if I was Rh Negative(negative blood type), I told her I was.  She told me those are both possible causes for miscarriage.  She also said that I was supposed to get a Rhogam shot(for the Rh) after my first miscarriage and she was betting that was why the second one happened(Rh negative-negative blood types in pregnancy cause the body to make anti-bodies to kill off a positive blood type baby if I don't get a rhogam shot at 28 wk and after having babies).
Today I got my results back from my blood tests.  I have a thyroid problem, my progesterone levels are low and there may be something amiss with my gall bladder(to be tested again tomorrow).  It sounds weird, but I have such a feeling of relief after hearing all this.  My Dr. said that it's actually amazing that I had 5 healthy pregnancies in a row.  I had no idea.  The best thing about all this is that these are all things that can be treated and taken care of!  They said that they will get me all fixed up so that we can start trying again.
I know you all think I am nuts for wanting 6 kids(or more, remember I have an addiction), but I love being a mom.  I am not a perfect mom, I am not super mom and I am far from amazing, but I have 5 healthy happy kids(which are pretty much 5 miracles).
*Update: The issue was not with my gall bladder as the nurse had informed me, but rather with my pancreas.  I have been diagnosed with pancreatitis, awesome fun that is.  They have also prescribed me a medication to treat my thyroid issue.


Jennie said...

Good to hear you got all tested. I have wanted to test all that for myself and never have. I should learn from you and do it before something like miscarriages brings me to do it. Hope things get working soon for you.

blondeviolin said...

Hopefully they checked your antibodies! (I'm also rH neg.)

I'm sorry about the miscarriages. I wish I could say more than that to help with your grieving/healing, but my experiences tell me I can't. What I can say is that each time I've miscarried, it is for a purpose. I know the Lord won't give me what I can't handle and maybe I couldn't have handled a baby at the time I was due, so we didn't have one. It doesn't make it any easier, though.

BUT, I am glad that everything checked out! Hopefully your gallbladder is good too!

nora p said...

I'm so sorry you had to go through that to find those issues. I had a miscarriage at the beginning of Sept. at 8 1/2 wks and it was probably the hardest thing I've ever been through. Please know I'm here if you need to talk/write about it. Glad they figured out what was going on!